Friday, May 16, 2008

My sanctuary, my safe haven

Moving from a place you have gotten used to since birth to a place which is wholly stranger to your eyes is such an appalling experience. I remember my first few months of struggling and adjusting myself just to fit in to this so-called highly urbanized metro. My life way back in the province was really far different from where I am now. I’ve been working in Makati for over five years but back then, I actually had my second thought of moving and accepting the job due to my would-be environment. I had the apprehensions that a certified “probinsyana” would absolutely have to dare extend an extra mile just to adopt the city-life.

Finding where to dwell was the first I considered. Though, I do have relatives where I can stay to, I opted to find a different abode. Yeap, they’re my kin but I don’t want to squeeze in myself and be an added burden, este, responsibilities since most of them have already children to look after to. I did find one (boarding house with two rooms) and compromised to pay the bigger share just to convince my eldest sister moved with me, since she works nearby my working place. I need someone trustworthy to ask and get an outright answer of the things that might draw my concern while living my life here, and that’s my ate (thou most of the times we argue over small things because she’s is so clever, peace sis! J) Sad to say after a year, she had to go back to the province because her company has to close and that ended me to be finally on my own. I even cried the first night I went home and saw her room empty. But what I can I do? She needs to leave and I need to get on with my life without her.

It made me realize that living all by myself will give me more time to assess myself, bring out the best in me, decide on my own, live my purpose without turning back, walk head up and face the challenges of life.

And during my downfall moment, the four corners of my room became my place of safety to release the pain of being single-handedly; my own sanctuary who have witnessed my everyday battle of missing my family while fiddling with my new milieu; the haven wherein I can totally take off my different masks and be of myself for real.

Thanks Roomy (my room). You’ve seen the tears I cried, the number of times I smiled and how I’ve grown a lot here. You are my sole eyewitness up to this moment.
Seeing myself now after five years (that’s also an additional five years to my age, whew! I don’t wanna get old yet, really.), I can say that I was able to surpass and agree with the flow of life here.


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